>[!meta-dates]
>- **Date created:** 2025-06-29
>- **Last updated:** 2025-07-07
>- **Author:** TJ Trewin
(This was meant to be just *one* section of [[How I use Obsidian]] but it felt too important to me not to give the full context.)
>[!warning] I've left out headings in this note on purpose.
>If you already scrolled to check the length of this and thought "nah", you might be in a similar place that I was in and relate to what I've shared.
>
>I'm rebuilding my **attention span**, **autonomy**, and **critical thinking skills**.
>If that interests you, give this a skim before heading back a page! 🥰
I found myself getting stuck in a loop of consuming useful content, tutorials, and genuinely non-clickbait-y expert advice from industry professionals, but never getting around to actually *using* any of it (or remembering it). "Writing it down" involved sending it to a friend or dumping a link somewhere to check again later - like all those save & forget bookmarks that for some reason I'd feel gutted if they got lost.
The productive procrastination felt useful, because at least I was learning instead of browsing memes or playing videogames, ...right? 😅
Yeah, no.
It was just more fuel to the fire for my already-crippling burnout.
My attention span got shorter.
I became impatient trying to read "long" articles that were written more for <abbr title="Search Engine Optimisation">SEO</abbr> than for me.
I started skipping through sections of videos to try and get to "the useful bit".
I read through the comments as I half-paid attention to see if anyone had summarised the key points, made a funny remark, or a posted a good timestamp.
I always watched on x1.5 speed.
At some point it became x2.
I felt like it was the only way to get my bored ADHD brain to focus on something - because, at that speed, you either watch & listen *intently* or you miss the words entirely. But then switching back to formats in normal x1 speed `just`
`felt`
`so`
`s l o w. . . `
All Internet slop increased, and search page snippets spouted unhelpful summaries riddled with factually incorrect information. I don't *want* a search engine (or any other platform or tool) to tell me what it thinks the answer is, or what it thinks I want to consume next.
I want to *search* for stuff and find out for myself.
It's like preparing for a test & someone from another class comes up to you goes "the answer is C" - yeah thanks, but by just giving me the answer:
1. I don't know how to do that myself (neither for the "show your reasoning" nor for application in the real world); and
2. Because of that, how do I know what you're telling me is correct, or even relevant?
3. Also, who even are you? Where'd you get the info from, and did *you* even learn it?
The prevalence and indistinguishableness of non-human-made content made me slam the brakes in deep concern for my autonomy, critical thinking skills, mental wellbeing, and cognitive function.
I wish I'd started this Obsidian vault sooner to have noted which podcast I originally heard this warning from that I'll paraphrase here:
> **Be sceptical of convenience** and of "I can do that for you".
> That doesn't mean saying no to everything, it means asking yourself "What is this taking away from me compared to what it's giving?" and "How might this affect my skills or abilities?"
After a long break from worldbuilding, my interest rekindled recently as I started re-watching [Artifexian's worldbuilder's log](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLduA6tsl3gyiX9fFJHi9qqq4RWx-dIcxO) about making a fictional world from scratch inspired by real-world geology and sciences. A section of these videos follows a tutorial on tectonic plate simulation by [worldbuildingpasta](https://worldbuildingpasta.blogspot.com/2020/06/an-apple-pie-from-scratch-part-v.html), in which some estimate figures are provided as rough guidelines for making your own semi-realistic Earth-like world using this realism approach.
Now - I'd followed along with these tutorials for funsies - but this time, I stopped. 🤔
Where did *that* number come from?
*Why* should this thing move at that speed?
Don't get me wrong, these creators are genuinely great and list their sources, but it came back to that whole thing again: "the answer is C".
Aha! 😳
I regained some autonomy & critical thinking skills!
Now, I could have continued following the same path as someone else by checking the already-listed sources, but I wanted build up more autonomy and regain not only my lost love of reading, but the attention span to do it.
So instead of relying on the curated SEO-optimised, algorithm suggested, overview snippet content pushed my way to try and be helpful - I went digging for my own sources, and I wanted *reliable* sources. In true ADHD-hyperfixation fashion, I found the absolute joy of how much *deeper* you can dive down a research rabbit hole if you look through published journals (even if it's just the abstract/overview available) compared to link surfing Wikipedia.
I brushed off my dusty memory of using citations in university and put them to use again - omg and sometimes there's even *drama* in some of these papers where researchers heatedly call out another's paper because their theory sounds like BS 🍿💅 (in professional nerdily-worded language, of course). Anyway, only after re-emerging with my own conclusions did I then go back and re-check the originally cited sources from other creators to see how they'd reached theirs.
But I don't want to just be learning all this cool stuff, citing it, and writing in my own words:
- I want to put the knowledge into practise so it sinks into my brain; and
- I want to pass it forwards so that it can spark an idea or passion in someone else, just as the worldbuilding community has done so for me.
I'm combining both by essentially writing my own mini-essays and articles on topics I find interesting, and tying them back into worldbuilding to consider how these areas might be applied in fictional worlds. I'm also applying this research into my own [[GPlates Worldbuilding Tutorial]], building up and expanding on the likes of worldbuildingpasta, Artifexian, [Madeline James](https://www.youtube.com/@MadelineJamesWorldbuilds), and countless others in [/r/worldbuilding](https://www.reddit.com/r/worldbuilding/) who've inspired me.
Sharing my notes online means I put more care into wording it so it makes sense re-reading it - no more "what does this single bullet point note even mean?!" 🤣
So what's why I use Obsidian, and this is why I share my vault online 😄, if you want to head back to [[How I use Obsidian]] 👈 there's the link. Thanks taking the time to read this, really.
<small>("The answer is B, Melanie!")</small>